In all the little moments I pushed you away that I can't erase; Every moment overflows with power; 66 thousand miles an hour

Jawn you asked the question about my experiences of eliminating redundancy. I think I've been trying to do that in different aspects of my life in the last several months. Namely, figuring out what things I can do without in life that I have held on to from the past and trying to let them go. At times, I've felt redundancy in the choices I've made when I have not listened closely to myself, when I make choices out of fear or inadequacy. Getting rid of the thoughts that hold you back is getting rid of the redundancy that those thoughts create in your physical life.

I've spent the last few months getting to know myself, incorporating the past and the present, and setting goals for the future. This kind of all began when I decided to transition into another field of work. It meant leaving the security of work that I was familiar with but knew that I didn't want to make a life long career. My struggle with this lasted until I made the decision to go back to school and follow what my instincts were telling me. Following your desire isn't always immediately gratifying. In the middle of my struggles, I have questioned if taking a ~70% pay cut to become a student and leaving a comfortable line of work is the smartest thing to do. Because I can tell you, there have been times when it has appeared that way. In the midst i also decided to take a career management course to help me focus on the things I needed to get done careerwise and make a plan for myself.

I know that sometimes people don't know where my motivations or ideas come from. I don't always know what the ideas are or which to choose, I just find that what I do know is what questions to ask. And God helps me with the answers. But, I trust that my spirit will lead me when I'm not sure where to go. It's funny how when you decide to change something in one area of your life, it affects other areas too. So, the decision to eliminate redundancy in my career life, has also been modifying and eliminating redundancy in my family life and personal relationships.

This past couple of months especially,I've been going to bed dead tired and getting up tired. Working in a new job in a field that you are just beginning to enter and trying to keep up with your schooling brings physical and mental challenge. In those moments of challenge I try to remember the purpose of what I'm doing. There are a few of those. First and foremost, it's for me-- for my learning, to really find out what I am made of. And to find where my talents lie and how I can most effectively use those in life. The only way to do this authentically for me is to be stripped humbly of the superficial things that stop me from achieving what I want in life. Those things are usually unique to the individual. The second purpose for me is for my family, present and future. This will sound a bit out there considering I'm perfectly single and without children, but I do what I do now partly to be able to provide in many ways, the best for my family when that time comes. Although I don't have their physical presence, I do have them in my mind and in my heart in everything I do. I feel that way about my immediate family too, of course. And sometimes when I get selfish and prideful, I think about the future and it makes things a little more bearable.