Monday, October 17, 2005

I've been lonely but I know I'll be okay; Good love is on the way

I'm sitting here, but what I really should be doing is going to bed. My behavior would be scolded by Laura. Not only did she scold me for not having my dinner until much too late, but I confessed to her that I only had about 3 hours of sleep last night. I worked then did homework for the rest of the day. She would be appalled that I have not gone to bed yet. However, I felt like I needed to write a little. It's nice that I have someone who will scold me. Someone who cares about the fact that I 'forgot' to eat or that I didn't get enough sleep and wants to know why. Some people go throughout the day, not believing that anyone cares about them.

I guess when someone cares about you, you should just let them. Why does that seem like such a hard thing to do sometimes? It's because of the V word. Vulnerability. It can pick you up and twirl you around in the sky until you feel like you're flying and then spiral you down and drill a hole to the depths of the ocean floor just as quickly. Sometimes you want to pull the chute. Other times you need the search and rescue. Most times, you probably just need to open your eyes and see the ground steady below. Or as my beloved friend of yesterday, Travis would say, look to the stars and know that when you look up there in our everchanging lives, that there's something in this universe that stays constant. Actually, that wasn't Travis, that was me who said that. We were in Smithers, BC of all places. Those stars were the most beautiful I ever saw- big, bright, and alive. I felt like they were reachable and I could touch them.

Maybe that's why God gives us the gift of vulnerability. After all, when we are in that state, we are more innocent and humble, almost childlike. And like the stars- big, bright, and alive. Maybe if we embraced our vulnerabilities and saw how beautiful they were, we could be more reachable to those who are waiting to touch our lives. It's something I will try and keep in mind this week. I think that is a nice thought to sleep on.

0 comments: