"Give a little bit of heart and soul; Give a little bit of love to grow"

I heard the above song on the radio the other day and I immediately thought: Bart Scruggs. And I listened to the song and smiled. I went to high school with him and he was in my grade 8 science class. He was a short boy with long hair and floppy bangs that he sometimes wore off his face, parted in the middle. He was a 'rocker'. He smoked. And he wore white high tops with jeans and a jean jacket most of the time. In science class I sat at the same table as he did. It was assigned seating, which meant that a choice 'trouble maker' was usually seated beside me. Teachers often used me for that purpose. I guess I was supposed to be the good 'role model'. I didn't mind it at all because I got to know certain people in a way I probably wouldn't have.

Maybe it's because I didn't see myself very differently from Bart Scruggs, that I felt comfortable in those situations. After all, one day out of the blue when we were sitting in class, he sang the words 'Give a little bit of heart and soul, Give a little bit of love to grow' and I thought he was quite a good singer. I liked the song. So we had something in common.

I wonder if he ever remembers me. I doubt he would. I wonder if he'd be surprised that I have this memory of him etched in my mind. Whenever I hear that song, I think about when he sang it. I remember a playful boy who was sometimes rebellious and didn't always have the best manners.... but I thought he could sing, and he left an impression without knowing it. If I were to see Bart someday I'd hug him and tell him about my memory of him. I'd let him know that I was glad Mrs. D had him sit beside me in science class.

"I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd Cause these words are my diary screamin out loud And I know you'll use them however you want to"

Conversations with Mom

I walk into the kitchen

Mom (from the couch in front of the TV): Eat some of the lettuce I brought today.

Me: Whaaaat?

Mom: I brought some lettuce today and you have to eat some with your dinner.

Me: But I already have a whole box of lettuce I have to eat!

Mom: But this is good lettuce.

Me: All lettuce is the same.
(I walk over to look at the lettuce mom is talking about)

Mom: This lettuce tastes very good. (still from the couch)

Me: This looks like normal lettuce to me.

Mom: It's very tasty because I chopped it myself.

Me: Mooooooom! (I sit down and start to eat the lettuce).

The moral: Mothers win most of the time.

"When you've got all night for Love; I see you and me there; Well maybe our time isn't now; But it will come around..."

If anyone knows that song, well you will be my friend for life. It's a song that my brother and I both liked. I can pretty much say that I don't think anyone will know it, but if there is someone out there who does...... it will make me very happy.

On happiness: I've been thinking a lot these past few days about happiness and sadness. Experiencing and thinking. What makes me happy and what makes me feel sad and why? How do we keep happiness alive in ourselves when there seems to be sadness that floats around us? Am I making a difference doing what I do each day? How can I be less consumed with my doubts? I read something that gave me a very good answer to my questions and it brought me some peace. So I have included it below.

Consider the following. We humans are social beings. We come into the world as the result of others' actions. We survive here in dependence on others. Whether we like it or not, there is hardly a moment of our lives when we do not benefit from others' activities. For this reason it is hardly surprising that most of our happiness arises in the context of our relationships with others.

Nor is it so remarkable that our greatest joy should come when we are motivated by concern for others. But that is not all. We find that not only do altruistic actions bring about happiness but they also lessen our experience of suffering. Here I am not suggesting that the individual whose actions are motivated by the wish to bring others' happiness necessarily meets with less misfortune than the one who does not. Sickness, old age, mishaps of one sort or another are the same for us all. But the sufferings which undermine our internal peace -- anxiety, doubt, disappointment -- these things are definitely less. In our concern for others, we worry less about ourselves. When we worry less about ourselves an experience of our own suffering is less intense.

What does this tell us? Firstly, because our every action has a universal dimension, a potential impact on others' happiness, ethics are necessary as a means to ensure that we do not harm others. Secondly, it tells us that genuine happiness consists in those spiritual qualities of love, compassion, patience, tolerance and forgiveness and so on. For it is these which provide both for our happiness and others' happiness.

~Ethics for a New Millennium, by His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama

After I read this, I felt complete. And I believe that's what most people are looking for when they ask questions; they seek completeness. I often do. I find most of the time I am able to find it, in ways that I can't really predict and sometimes can't explain. But I do know when something feels right and I believe that when that feeling comes over you, it's a form of happiness. And that's when I know I've found what I'm searching for.

"Whatever happened to the values of humanity? Whatever happened to the fairness in equality? Instead of spreading love we're spreading animosity"

What happens when someone decides to take a possession away from you? Be it through vandalism or stealing, it causes damage and loss. Material and emotional. A few years ago, I would have defined the damage and loss of something material AS material and amend the loss through a replacement of the material thing. i.e. ‘I can’t believe someone took my ___ , now I have to get a new one.’ Replacement of the possession would “fix” the problem. However, at this moment in time my definition has changed-- I see first a material loss as a disrespect to my hard work. A violation of the sacrifices that I have made to have something that serves a purpose in my life above materiality. It is a hurt inflicted upon the heart that you put into the smallest task in the process of earning a dollar. What is most significant is not the dollars that you are able to readily spend (because anyone can do that or appear to do that) as a result of what you earn, but it is the manner and attitude by which you earn it. I think true wealth comes from this. I guess when you’ve lived a life of riches where things can be replaced with ease, you never really have a chance to learn that lesson in a physical sense, unless you seek out an opportunity to do so.

On an aside, I am thinking about the Pope and it almost seems trite to send him blessings. However, giving blessings are always humbling, inspiring, and a testimony of the power of humanity. That is a lesson that can be taught and learned through life and through death. And everything becomes a little more clearer.

"Long live the Queen; And I'll be the King; In the collar of Grace."

Tonight, I've got a lot on my mind. The weeks go by so fast, too fast it seems at times. I don't think I've ever had as full days as I have been experiencing the last three months. When you are working on making changes in your life, it takes up a lot of time and energy and at times it's so overwhelming. I have this eternal voice in my head (imaginary, not real) that keeps reminding me of why I am doing the things I do. A reminder of the personal plan that I've set out for myself. I wonder if other people have that little voice. I find it speaks to me at least once a day but most of the time more than once. As I'm sitting here typing, I think I've just figured out that it's something I ask for all the time-- wisdom. It's the one thing I am always asking for, along with patience. I think I just answered my question about the little voice. Sometimes, reassurance is all one needs to believe.

Tonight
You arrested my mind
When you came to my defense
With a knife
In the shape of your mouth
In the form of your body
With the wrath of a god
You stood by me
And I'll stand by my
Belief

"Overjoyed..."

As I was telling my friend yesterday, I think Stevie Wonder is an amazing artist. An all-time favorite of mine. I don't know how to describe it exactly but his songs just give such an energy that makes you reach this point of love and appreciation-- enough to make you weep. My parents owned the Songs in the Key of Life vinyl. Yes, I said vinyl. It was his popular record in the late 70s. I remember the big booklet insert in the double vinyl jacket with all the lyrics to the songs that I used to read over and over again.

Overjoyed is one of my favorites because of the element of vulnerableness yet strong faith that he weaves through the song. It portrays an emotion that we've all felt and have wished that we were brave enough to express:

Over hearts, I have painfully turned every stone

Just to find, I had found what I've searched to discover

I've come much too far for me now to find

The love that I've sought can never be mine

And though you don't believe that they do

They do come true

For did my dreams

Come true when I looked at you

And maybe too, if you would believe

You too might be

Overjoyed, over loved, over me

And though the odds say improbable

What do they know

For in romance

All true love needs is a chance

And maybe with a chance you will find

You too like I

Overjoyed, over loved, over you, over you

I think everyone deserves someone in life who is sure. Sure to be there when you need them, and when you don't think you need them. Sure to love you when at times you don't love yourself. Sure to have faith when you find it difficult. Sure to say for you, the things that you feel but are afraid to say. I think these things would make anyone feel overjoyed.

"I rock the Fetish; People you know who I am."

Props to my friend (and personal fashion consultant) Ricardo, who's doing fresh stuff on MTV Canada's 969.

This kid's insightful and he got skillz. Check out what he does if you're interested. He says 'hi' to everyone. Point and click on the green monkey above.

"Life is one big stage; And it's all the rage."

The 47th Grammy Awards are on tonight. There's a history with this award's show with my family. Well, any awards show for that matter. We're big awards show people. When I was growing up, we'd always congregate in front of the TV and root for our favorites-- it was a special night. And yes, we'd watch ALL the show, not just certain parts. My parents would let us stay up past our bedtime to watch and tell us to go to bed right after. They always let us watch the whole thing.

I remember feeling like I was a part of something special, watching people win their awards. I know that it probably didn't seem like a big deal to some, and it's not like I'd ever know any of those celebrities. But when you're a kid, you don't think about that. Well, at least I didn't. I just wanted to watch people win and feel like I was a part of it somehow; it allowed me to dream of the possibilities of what I could accomplish. I think most of us as children feel that way about ourselves, but in the midst of growing up, we lose that, or it's harder to remember that our possibilities are endless. I am trying to refresh my memory on that. I have been thinking about my achievements in life that were significant to me, dating back to my earliest childhood memories. It's an interesting exercise to go back in time and be reminded of the things that you were most proud of in your earlier years. I think everyone should try and come up with 15 achievements, not necessarily things that others would feel were important, but things that made you feel good or proud. It opens the door to new possibilities. Funny how the past sometimes does hold the key, or at least a good reminder of the key you hold in the present.

Good luck to all my favorites (that means you) tonight.

"You can say I'm one curly fry in the box of regular; Messing with the flavor oh the flavor that you savor.'

This quote sums up nicely what has been on my mind as of late:

"The price of self-destiny is never cheap and in certain circumstances it's unthinkable, but to achieve the marvelous it's precisely the unthinkable that must be thought."

-Tom Robbins

"Life is not what I thought it was twenty-four hours ago; Still I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You."

Once there was a man who was 55 and better. Grampa. On many occasions there would be this budgie who would fly over to his house. It must have escaped from his home and wanted to visit someone else. One day, Grandpa decided to keep Budgie because he came over so often, and Budgie became his pet. Grampa and Budgie loved each other. They had good times together. Budgie would fly out of his cage every day and sit on Grampa's shoulder and give him kisses on the cheek. They were family.
One day Budgie flew out of his cage and sat on Grampa's shoulder like he usually did. He gave Grampa a kiss on the cheek, but this time instead of going back to his cage, he sat on top of Grampa's hand. Budgie took a couple of deep breaths, closed his eyes, and passed on. Grampa was heartbroken. He was very sad and he cried a lot over the loss of Budgie. However, they had a wonderful eight years together. Companions till the end.

When my mom told me this a couple of days ago, it really touched me. I had to try very hard not to cry because it was the sweetest thing I'd heard in a long time. It's a true story. Grampa is actually my second uncle, but I refer to him as Grampa. I've never had a pet, but loving a pet and being loved by one is quite powerful from what I see. I hope Grampa will find another another special pet to share his time with. I'm sure Budgie would want that.

"My clothes are worn and gritty; And I know ugliness; Now show me something pretty."

Amy correctly guessed the Jan 25th song....

The Champa flower is a flower of the East. The Beloved flower of the country Laos. In fact, there is a national song about the Champa flower:

Champa Flower, you have stood by my side since I was young.
Your fragrance is significant; in my heart it stands with love and affection.
I treasure your sweet scent, for when I feel lonely, I can breathe in your sweet fragrance, My Dear Sweet Champa.
Your delicate fragrance is like my long lost friend. You have been a beautiful flower since the beginning of time, My Dear Champa Flower, My Beloved Flower.

Beloved's blossoms.

The Champa flower holds much spiritual significance. Its scent used for devotional ceremonies. Aromatic traditions and symbolism are extensively used in Indian culture to illustrate the power of living. Just like the Champa flower kisses us with its sweet fragrance as it is awoken by the sun, we are too awakened by spirituality that lifts us, moves us, and allows us to flow our goodness effortlessly through the world-- a blessing.

The Champa flower holds personal significance. It is also beloved by me. In the form of incense and essential oil, that is. It has a sweet and exotic smell, one could say at times intoxicating. The incense itself has been around for several years. This scent holds a special place with me because it takes me back to my childhood and good memories. It was the only incense we burned in my home since I was a little girl. My dad used the incense to 'smudge' us when we were little. Meaning: using the hands to wash the scent over you. It's used as a part of blessing, cleansing, and healing.

Nag Champa has become a popular incense. The incense combines the scent of the Champa flower along with other spices. If you want to try the incense, go to any Indian grocer and buy it there. You'll find it for super cheap, as opposed to any novelty stores that carry it.

What does all this have to do with Amy (Pea)? Amy means Beloved. Amy = Beloved. I think after reading the above, the connection is quite clear. Anything for a girl who says I am 'practically her sister'.

It's amazing how when you take the time to think about a person, the thought of them inspires you with the flow of words, feelings, and connections. It is truly meaningful. The ability to create meaning I think is one of the keys to a happy life.

I'm glad I sat down and made time to write this. I've had a taxing week and in the midst of one particular stress, a kind person asked me what they could do for me. 'What can I do for you?'. Eloquent words.... inspiring me to write this tonight.

May golden Champa blooms decorate your dreams..... :)

'And I'm so excited, I haven't spoken'

Sarah correctly guessed the January 14th song...

The name Sarah means Princess. Princess flowers, also known as Glory flowers, come from the Melastomataceae Family. There are over 5 000 species in the Princess Family. Botonist Frank Almeda states they are called Princess flowers because their beauty is, 'fit for a Princess'. I took a look at these flowers myself, and I agree. Frank is a smart man. I found this flower and basically, it said Sarah to me. Yes, it spoke to me. Species Urvilleana (ur-VIL-ah-nuh). With a purple bloom. I call it Sarah's flower now. I think it's quite fitting.


Sarah's flower.

Isn't it great when you can find a new way to appreciate a person? We should do this more often. I'll go to sleep on that good thought.

"What goes around; comes around; what goes up; must come down"

Enough rain for you? It seems like that's all we've been seeing on the news lately. Everything seems to be weather related in the world. Mother nature. She's got something to tell us, doesn't she? Attention seekers usually have something they want to say, but don't exactly know how to. Maybe they think their voices won't be heard. Or maybe no one will care enough to listen. Maybe they are afraid of rejection. Maybe heavy rainfall is what we need sometimes to listen to what's going on outside of our own worlds. I think it forces us to use our other senses.

Peace.

"When shadows fill our day; Lead us to a place; Guide us with your grace..."

We all have so much to be thankful for in our everyday lives. I have thought a lot about this today in relation to the events in Asia. If you haven't contributed yet, please help the people affected by the Tsunami disaster. They have lost everything- their loved ones, their livelihoods and their homes. These are things we take for granted everyday. I know that I do. I can't imagine what life would look like if I was to lose the things I depend on so much at different moments in time, let alone all at once.

Clicking on the icon below will take you to the donation page.

Thank you.

"I refuse to believe; that my life's gonna be; just a string of incompletes..."

Welcome to Lady of Light's blog. This is a place where you brew a cup of tea, cozy up, point & click, and reflect with me on the internal and external.

Each title of my blog will reflect my 'posting mood' in the form of a song lyric. So, feel free to guess the Song of the Day by song title and/or artist. And yes, you will receive a prize if your guess is right, provided that you answer the skill testing question correctly. This week's prize: accolades and affection.

My hope for Icons, Incense and Ideations is to create a place where we can retreat and feel rejuvenated-- like a virtual spa!

I hope you will visit often.

Namaste